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Hi everyone, my name is Cathy, and I am 33 years young, solo mum to one little boy.
My prolapse journey began 3 years ago after the birth of my first-born Ollie.
I had a really positive birth experience. It was a natural delivery, no big horror stories of tears or instrument assistance. I was so proud of what my body had done, I was amazed. Fast forward 6 weeks, and I became aware of a fullness or bulge in my vagina. Being a nurse, I knew something wasn't quite right, so I headed confidently off to my GP, thinking it would be a quick fix.
GP visits
In my journey thus far, I really feel that GPs are ill prepare to deal with younger patients who have prolapse. On my 1st visit, I was told it was all postpartum related and would settle back in place. On my 2nd visit I had the misfortune of being allocated the trainee GP who agreed that she could feel 'something falling down' and that maybe I needed a hysterectomy at THIRTY!! I left the surgery in tears and tried to source a female physio in the interim.
My 3rd GP visit presenting with the same issue was my last. The GP tried to make light of the situation by telling me that actually, I was lucky as a cystocele (bladder prolapse) can increase sexual pleasure during intercourse.
Feeling absolutely bewildered with the situation, I sought a private appointment with a Gynaecologist in Belfast. I had really pinned my hopes that he would have a solution and, I guess you could say he had. His solution was to take all my money. He basically told me I had, infact, a uterine prolapse grade 2/3 and that the ONLY option would be surgery as it would get worse. I will never forget how much he lacked empathy. Maybe that's because he hasn't got a vagina himself who knows lol. Surgery right now is not an option. I have a toddler who needs me to carry him from time to time. This, plus the prospect of one day adding to my family, would be counterproductive to surgery. (This part of my journey is still a work in progress 🙂 I feel I have a little more inner work to do before I start dating again ).
That appointment marked the beginning of a struggle between my prolapse and my mind. Unbeknownst to me, fear was beginning to control me. The fear of everything prolapse related, from making it worse by exercising to the fear of ever being intimate again and everything in between. It is difficult to explain the impact psychologically living with a prolapse can have on a woman, which I feel is so under addressed by healthcare professionals. I really disconnected from my body, showed it very little self-care and most definitely ate my emotions. I resented my poor friends who could not comprehend what I was going through, through no fault of their own.
Lockdown, for me was a turning point. I think it forced me to do some inner work and, thankfully, I have reached a place where my prolapse no longer controls me. Getting back out walking was the first step, and feeling the mental benefits, those feel-good endorphins again. This really made me want to get back working out again. I began to realise that my body hadn't failed me, that it is just the way things are and instead of moping about it I am putting steps in place to become stronger. Physically stronger by working with and amazing pelvic floor PT and mentally stronger by educating myself on all things prolapse. My PT helped me source a pessary that works for me which has been outstanding in relieving my symptoms. One thing I learned about pessaries is that patience is a virtue lol. It is all about trial and error until you find the right fit.
I cannot advocate enough how important it is to address the psychological side of prolapse as well as the physical. Be kind to yourself and your body and know there is always hope x