Three lessons I learnt in 2021

2021. Where do I even start? This year has signal significant life changes for me and has taught me some hard-learned lessons. To briefly sum up my year, I graduated from University with a first-class honour and shortly went on to secure my first marketing Internship in Ireland. In less than a month after graduating, I moved to Ireland and started my first 9 to 5 job. I thought I had everything sorted, I was one of the first of my friends to secure a job after University, I was finally in the same country as my boyfriend, and I was pretty adamant I had my life on track. However, life had other plans for me. Unbeknownst to me, it had a curveball up its sleeve. Ultimately, I sadly got laid off from my job and found myself having to move back to England. This leads me onto my first hard-learned lesson of 2021:

1. Life doesn’t always go to plan

Everyone who knows me will know that I love a plan. I love planning, to-do lists and predictability. Although I love to claim that I am spontaneous, in reality, that is probably not true. 2021 has taught me that your expectations and reality don’t always match up. Things that I never imagined or probably even wanted to happen happened in 2021, and what this year has taught me is that you can’t plan for everything. 2021 didn’t go to plan, and you know what that is actually okay. I have learnt way more than if things had gone exactly as I envisioned them. I learnt the art of just letting go and seeing where I am taken. After I got laid off, I didn’t fester, and I didn’t think of the would of or could of I just said to myself, yes, I didn’t plan for this, but this is what happened. This allowed me to go on a completely different path without expectations and without looking back. It also taught me to just relax. I hadn’t really allowed myself to do so as I had been studying for a good four years at University and never really allowed myself to have a break. So, once I got back to England, I took time to do things I loved, I took some design courses, I focused on running my Instagram account, I relaxed, and most importantly, I took time to focus and nurture myself. These are things I probably would have not done or made time for if I had followed my original plan.

2. Sometimes, your circle decreases in size but increases in value

In 2021 I had to let go of two friends. I realised over time that these friendships were not adding enough value to my life to make them seem worthwhile. Have you ever heard the saying some friends are drains and some are radiators? Some friends drain your energy, and after meeting up with them, you actually feel more exhausted than you did before. Whereas some friends are radiators, they brighten your world, and they warm your soul. 2021 has taught me to spend more time with the radiators rather than friends who leave me feeling emotionally drained. For me, this is a big step as I am a people pleaser by nature, and I don’t ever want to let anyone down. But I actually realised by hanging onto these drains, I was actually letting myself down and it wasn’t benefiting me. This is not a decision I took lightly as friends are so important to me, but it was a decision I knew was best for me. So even though my circle of friends has decreased in 2021, it has increased in value. I know that the friends that I give my time will warm me with their presence and make my world a better place and I hope I do the same to them.

3. Life isn’t always go go go

The third lesson I learnt of 2021 is the art of not always doing something. Although I reluctantly admit I have not yet mastered this, I am doing a much better job than I was before. I used to think that doing nothing (including meditation) was a waste of time, and instead, I should be cracking on with my to-do list. I had an inability to sleep in and always worried about something I should be doing rather than being present. This was absolutely exhausting, and I am pretty sure I have gained one or two wrinkles from this habit of mine. After I was laid off, I didn’t really have much to do, which taught me the hard-earned lesson of doing nothing or at least just taking life in rather than always planning for the future. At the start, I was racing around trying to look for part-time jobs and other internships, but after a while, I just realised I was exhausted. Exhausted of always searching for something to do, exhausted of always having to do something, exhausted of running around. I instead allowed myself to sit there and read my book for one hour, I allowed myself to practise meditation and I allowed myself to just be. I learnt that you don’t always have to be doing something; instead, stop, listen, rest and breath. Now, if I wake up feeling exhausted, I allow myself to turn over and fall back asleep, and you know what, I don’t feel one tiny bit bad about it.

So, although 2021 maybe wasn’t the best year it definitely taught me a lot of valuable lessons. 2022 let’s see what you got.