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Originally, I was going to do a blog on how I juggle both university work and having a health condition, yet the more I thought about the more I realised that having prolapse has just become my way of life. There is no specific way I balance the two, as having consistent medical appointments has just become something I am so used to and almost like having a part-time job. Instead, I decided to write a blog on how I stay positive with all these medical appointments and in general coping with prolapse. Having said this I must stress that IT IS OKAY NOT TO FEEL OKAY ALL THE TIME, you don’t need to be positive every second of every day. Having prolapse is tough, it is frustrating and it’s okay to realise and own this, and there will be days when you feel like you’re just so done with life. But maintaining a positive attitude can get you through the tough times, the medical appointments, the scans, the blood tests and all the other crap that comes with prolapse. Staying positive has enabled me to become more confident, self-assertive and love my body despite my prolapse.
Here are my tips and tricks for how I stay positive:
Changing my perspective Instead of thinking of all the things I cannot do or how my prolapse has changed and altered my life, instead I try to change my perspective and think more positively about the situation. Yes, although I do have prolapse, there are still so many things that I can do; I can still box, swim, row, ski, I can still walk and I can still have kids. I know this sounds clique but there are so many people out there who cannot do these things therefore I just consider myself so fortunate and lucky that I can. Also, I believe that I am extremely lucky to know my diagnosis and the steps I can take to monitor my prolapse. I feel in this respect I AM IN CONTROL of my condition. I am also so fortunate to not have a life-threatening illness, although prolapse does suck I am so lucky to be alive. Changing your perspective about your situation is hard and it doesn’t happen overnight but each time you feel yourself thinking negatively just think how can I alter this thought. I’m going to give an example below:
I often used to think, “I have so many medical appointments it takes up so much time.” Now I think, “These medical appointments are going to give me more insight about my condition, and help me learn more about my body.”
Another positive of having prolapse is that you will learn so much about your body. At the age of 18 when I first noticed my symptoms, I knew nothing of my body. I didn’t know what my cervix, ovaries, g spot, labia were or anything about the female reproductive system. But now I know so much about my body, what I like, what I don’t like and where everything is anatomically and so much more. It has opened me up to a whole new network. The amount of supportive, brave and inspiring women I have met because of my prolapse has been unbelievable. I have been shocked by the amount of resources and women out there willing and dedicated to helping women like me. I have also been so amazed at the number of women out there with prolapse and this has really helped reassure me that I am not alone and there are so many women out there going through the same thing as me.
Positivity jar Something I learnt when I was in therapy for my anxiety was the concept of a positivity jar. In this jar you can put positive affirmations, compliments you receive, mementoes that make you feel good and quotes that make you feel better. So, whenever you are feeling down or need a small confidence boost you can reach inside this jar and read out one of the notes to yourself, to remind yourself just how amazing you are.
Do the things you love Think of all the things you love to do. Think of all the things that relax you. Try to do these things at least once a day. This will enable you to have something to look forward to each day and motivate you to get the day started. If it works for you, you can even write these things down so that when you wake up it is the first thing you think of and you are motivated for the day ahead. I also like to at the end the day take some time to myself and do something that relaxes me. This enables me to reflect on the day, click the pause button and just learn to be comfortable with myself. Things that I enjoy include going to the gym, reading, going on walks and of course writing my blog. It is important to find things that work best for you as everyone is different and some things that relax me may stress you out. So, dig deep and think about it and write these things down and then try incorporate them into your week and see what a difference it can make.
Hang out with people who raise your spirits Hanging with friends is one of the main things that help me relax and also helps me stay positive. Talking to friends about your prolapse can help you come to terms with it but can also help them to understand what you are going through and how they can be there to help. It is important to recognise which friends make you feel better and those who could potentially drain you. I know I have a lot of friends who I can sit in silence with and still would have a good time or friends who when I have met up with them, I feel a lot better than I did before, however, I also know I have friends who after meeting up with them I feel drained. Know yourself and know what is best for you. If you are feeling down or having a bad day then try hang out with those friends who make you feel better or a friend who you can just eat ice-cream with in front of a romcom. Finally, being alone and spending time with yourself can also be extremely beneficial. It can give yourself a chance to reflect and plan the next day ahead.
Focus on what you can control Last but not least, try and focus on what you can control. Yes, I do have prolapse and no I cannot control that, however, there are numerous other things I can control. I can control how often I do my physio, if I do my physio, the exercises I do at the gym and I can try and manage activities that could make my prolapse worse. Taking control can help you accept your prolapse and empower you. Even though I do not like having prolapse I have chosen to accept and embrace it and channel everything I have into treatment and take action on the things that I can control to prevent my prolapse from getting worse.
Its okay not to feel positive all the time, and sometimes you will feel frustrated, upset and angry. But that is completely normal and okay. Just know when you feel like that there are so many people out there willing to support you. You are not alone.